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Day 162: Government Advice

by | Karl Bryan, ONE THING Series | 0 comments

Government Advice

Another week in quarantine down and hopefully not many more to go…  


All my friends think the world has turned into Vegas.


Everyone’s losing money, it’s acceptable to drink at all hours and no one has any idea what day it is.





“An Interview With The Folks That’ll Tell Us When We Can Go Outside.”


This one is inspired by one of my clients, he’s an accountant and been a cherished and valued client for 8 years, his nephew committed suicide this weekend.


Two young kids.


Suicide hotlines are running at 2000% normal volumes.


My big brother committed suicide when I was 16 years old so this hits close to home.

Every countries government officials, as a collective, will decide when it’s time to go outside, open the economy and when it’s safe for everyone to continue on.


I interviewed two, random, highly ranked and all mighty gov’t officials and their answers are captured below.


Think of it as a bad version of the 80’s style ‘Dating Game’ where they couldn’t hear one another’s answers.


Worth noting these two government officials are earning $200,000 per year and have exactly ZERO threat of losing anything like money, benefits, a job, retirement savings etc…


Did I say ZERO threat of losing anything…




Me: Should I wear a mask?


Government official #1 (at her lake house disobeying her own orders):

No, a waste of time.


Government official #2 (at his beach house disobeying his own orders):

Yes, when they’re in stock and available… you need to wear one at all times and you’ll need to wear them on airplanes in the future.


If we run out again… I’ll say it’s not necessary so we don’t look stupid.


Me: Gee, thanks we’re off to a roaring start. Should I wear gloves when getting groceries?


Government official #1:

Yes, at all times. 


Government official #2

No, hands hold germs and gloves hold and spread viruses. Wash your hands.


Me: I heard fresh air, sunlight and exercise are good to stay healthy and beat something like a virus…. Not doing these things can compromise my immune system’s ability to fight. 


Given the fact this one is apparently super deadly… Do you think I can I go outside to maintain my own personal health and do what I feel is right to protect my life?


Government official #1:

No, you can’t go outside.


Government official #2:

Yes, you’re correct and you must go outside and stay healthy. Just stay 6 feet away from everyone and don’t sit down.


Unless you need to sit down, then, of course, you can sit down.


Me: For 30 years the flu has had a consistent number of deaths per month. Why has almost no one died of the flu for 60 days?  I’m asking this one for a friend.


Government official #1:

This is classified info and we would never skew results intentionally.


Government official #2

If I told you that I’d need to kill you.


Me: But you’re at your beach house..?


Me: Aren’t those that grow up on a farm proven to have a stronger immune system due to all the germs and animals they’re exposed to… and therefore if we all start wearing masks and gloves everywhere won’t we reduce our ability to fight germs, viruses and disease in the future?


Specifically, our children.


Government official #1:



Government official #2:



Me: What about the depression, separations, suicides, and divorces… And is it healthy to keep children locked up with no social interaction for extended periods of time?


Government official #1:

It’s great for families to spend all this time together.


Government official #2:

Kids are really getting a lot of video game time in and parents are catching up on movies they haven’t seen from 5 years ago.


Me: So If I get this nightmare virus should I ask for a ventilator or no ventilator?


Government official #1:

No, this is closer to altitude sickness with compromised lungs and ventilators cause extra pressure. Turns out they’ve been doing more harm than good.


Government official #2:

Yes, ventilators are saving lives. 


Me: You guys are taking advice from doctors, great people but, possibly not aware that they’re trained by a corrupt system to prescribe expensive medication and not really search for the foundation of the problem? Any thoughts on that?


Government official #1:

No opinion.


Government official #2:

No opinion.


Me: (“Thinking to myself* Glad you idiots finally agree on something) So, how do we beat this thing?


Government official #1:

We need to stay locked up until it disappears….  even though the last time a virus magically disappeared…. Was NEVER.


Government official #2:

The only way we beat a virus is collective immunity and we need to get back to normal living for that to happen. 


Sorry, King Karl its been a slice but my kid just fired up the boat and we’re going out for a ski… I’ll be back for lunch in about 3 hours if I can help you with anything else…


Don’t call me.


I’m kinda on holiday and hope they don’t ever end.   


I’m referring to it as the endless summer for me and my kids.  


BTW take advantage of that time with your family.


Me: You’re both jackarses.




So, there you have it…


We’re in good hands.


For the record… I’m not saying we should all run outside and shake hands.  


And I’m not saying we shouldn’t.


Maybe we all deserved a collective “Time Out” for owning 20+ pairs of shoes and becoming too damn materialistic and forgetting what really matters.


The solution is a complex one… but the next steps seem painfully obvious to me and I’ll let you guess what that is.


What I WANT YOU TO HEAR ME SAY is that you need to be smart enough to do your own damn homework and not trust the people with, VERY DIFFERENT motivations, then you.


Like, boating!!!


You heard it here first.


Obsessed with your business coaching success,


Karl Bryan aka King Karl


PS. Thinking a mask is going to stop this virus is like thinking wearing underwear will stop your fart. 


PPS. If you’re looking for a proven system to follow for your coaching…. I created business coaching software and high-end step by step training to support it…


It’ll teach you ‘How to find any small business owner $100,000 in 45 minutes without them spending an extra dollar on marketing or advertising.’


Imagine finding your annual $12,000 to $50,000 coaching fees BEFORE you started coaching your new clients?!  And a proven coaching system created for you to follow with your new coaching client. 


Reply to this email if you want to start following a proven coaching system.


PPPS. Forward this to someone that needs to subscribe to my daily emails and get a limited time, complimentary subscription to my business coaching magazine go here:


PPPPS. They tell me my Podcast is Ric Flair style, Money Makin, Client Getten, Joint Venture Landing, Event Fillin’, High-End Coaching Client Findin’ Gold For Business Coaches.


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Karl Bryan creator of Profit Acceleration Software™  gets clients for Business Coaches...period.
He is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of The Six-Figure Coach Magazine and Chairman of Leader Publishing Worldwide, home of the largest private community of Business Coaches (24 countries and counting) in the world. His goal is straightforward… to help serious coaches/consultants get more clients.

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